Panic! At the workplace

Ah... my day today. Not quite the best & not quite the worst.

You might be able to tell by the title that today was a bit of an anxious day, and it was.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was at work this afternoon when I felt my chest tightening & my throat closing in. . . the calm before the storm. The moment where I have to decide if I want to end the day breathing in a paper bag, or if I have the strength to own my faults & get help.

I got help.

I told a coworker, who had just emailed me one more thing to put on my plate (a small piece to put on my plate, but a piece nonetheless), and I just told him that I was in the the beginning stages of freaking out and that I needed to get out.

I went for a walk and called Jason. No answer. I called him again. . . no answer. I called my sister. . . no freaking answer.

Jason texted & it was needed. He gave me skills & tools that could help me get through this. A sense of calm  & peace came with his kind words. It was a breath of fresh air to help me get over the mountain.

I am thankful to say that the panic did not turn into a full blown attack, but it was close. Jason has been teaching me great tools lately that have been helping; however, I am continuing to ask myself why. Why are these happening right now? What in my life has changed so much that panic is rearing its ugly head?. . . 

I'm not really sure & am still trying to figure it out, but it's teaching me to be more aware of myself & how I process/sort through things that catch me off-guard.

Jason took me out to dinner tonight so we could both get out & breathe in the last few moments of warm, fresh air before winter arrives. In that time, I realized what was really the issue. Why my body & brain can't work together at the some time is beyond me. Either way, dinner was nice & wonderful, and a perfect way to catch up & reconnect before Jason starts his practicum again. . . 

 

So, there it is. I'm going to keep practicing my new relaxation tools & use hard cider with fireball whiskey as a backup. 

Here's to being thankful that my husband is going to grad school for psychology & not a bartender. . . most of the time.

Cheers~